slow disciple

Ought a comfortable world be frightening?

Knowing what is known, it’s inner-decimation, seeing what I see in the ego/survival that drives?

If I  am herein satisfied, am I not paralyzed, shortsighted, sweetened, quarantined and partitioned away from the truth?

Denial of the pandemic incompletion of love

Can I hurt well?

That is not our path, oh no, pain is not our solace nor intent, but we know that Her shackle is even more venomous if covered, if it is burned, painted, personified, sunken, hidden, ignored or stuffed away …

Oh, that all our voices were heralded, That our heart were open for reference.

I say

Amble with aggression into  this feud. Stories need ears. Tears need cheeks. Those ears have mouths. and those cheeks can show.

To the alter aought we dive, and atwixed the sweet deliverance of the the lives next and now, we should shout fight and lay our tears when due. and walk again and again then, even straighter.

She is Christine
She came to pray for Israeli last year
I was a tour guide.
Her heart pointed at me.
I was clueless.

She embraced my family when I had my accident.
She is servant-hearted and gifted. It is a part of Christ-likeness that is awesome to see.
And this counteracts my spiritual gift of laziness.

Christine and I began talking about the wisdom of me dating at this tender rebab time of life. She was set on me from the beginning and I was a floundering disabled boy.

She is welcomed in to my life spending time with the family being a glowing support.

In a shot gun approach at a belated event summary of last year in ministry (about a year late due to injury)
sorry that i was not able to fill in these stories last year. Id love to share any or all if requested. Thanks for your love.

Starting late Spring of 07:

*Church Field-visit - Paul Covert and cohorts come and pray for Israeli ministries (Christine meets me)
*jared visit - dear friend assuages home-longing with vacation visit
*Boomba - Massive beach festival outreach with local followers
*turkey - Visa
*kids games - Nazareth VBS
*jordan visit - Vacation to Petra
*isreal challenge - Lead short-term outreach team
*YWAM - nomadic team partnership
*turkey again - Agency regional retreat
*teen street - massive youth conference
*Yad bYad - Jew/German youth peace camp

Early September 2007:
*England - a london play on the way home
*Atlanta - debriefing at agency base
*Home Heart trauma - bad news
*boise - Family for thanksgiving

Shall we:

continue to avoid personal obedience?
project our callings to hired substitutes?
avoid our inklings with precise distractions?
place morals on paper rather than in our path?
let a law take the place of loving hug?
force a religion to replace a faith?
numb our spirit with intellect?
call fear mere propriety?
listen to ourselves alone?

Should it be the job of the church to enforce morals rather than champion Holiness to the point of seduction?

Should it be the position of Jesus to demand integrity instead of ejecting love to the point of envelopment?

should i build a relationship or an argument?

Sumo Wrestling

Beware a book you find re-readable.
Revere a book you find disagreeable.
Keep a book that is both.

Beware a person who only smiles.
Revere a person that challenges you.
Keep a person that does both.

You have found The Book and The One

listening to the the word of the average cubical dweller is drawing my judgment out so very much. My thoughts are harsh and invalid. It is my unfair view that finds mere emptiness and that sees shallowness. It is my immaturity that slowly goes numb to the verses about tv and politics and back-pain-rants. It is my stupidity that makes me sad to see the amazing potential in people who are content in much less than I feel they should be. It is my softness that keeps my faith in jello about real deep community. It is my fault that i don’t care enough about retirement and options. It is meekness that leaves me incapable of prolonged satisfaction boxed in cardboard, or wrapped in lust. I am unjustly nagaitve and I need to get real, get a life, get over it and grow up. I need to cruxify the abstract and make camp in the math. It is my fault that I am not able to find peace in this. This is normal. I need this. I want to want to want to want this. i just can’t. Why can’t i just want this. Maybe you can help me learn to allow it like you do.